Random Thoughts

I like doing experiments on myself. It sounded a little weird... Let me assure you, no weird stuff. Things like trying not to eat or sleep as long as I can. Trying to sleep or get up at different times. Changing my routine… Just to see what would happen. To experience how it feels. Because I realized that I do some things without thinking, out of habit. I don't really know why I do those things the way I do them, or why I do them at all. This is important because, I don't want to be manipulated into doing or thinking something. I want everything I do or think to be out of my own free will. I want them to be mine. Because (I really need to learn another word that can be used instead of because) let's say I'm manipulated into doing something. If it's a good thing, I can't take credit for it, if it's a bad thing, more of a reason to take control. I think we need to question everything. I’m not saying that we should only accept things that are logical or prove...

Sleep is like a mafia boss or a loan shark. Borrowing is easy, but paying back is painful. You can probably get away with, say, one hour of less sleep. But anything over three hours, he sends his men after you, and they haunt you all day. And they always find you. If you try to elude them, it only gets worse. So they find you, they don't just go away when you pay what you owe. They want to mess you up. And they do. After three hours of sleeping last night, you fall asleep before sunset and after a while you wake up and see the clock, it's 9 pm. You say to yourself "Oh... Great!". You know you won't be able to sleep soon again. You can't actually do anything productive either. Your mind is all fuzzy. So you just sit. You finally go to sleep at 3 am. And all this happens again for couple of days. It's just terrible...

I love radio. Some of my favorites are BBC 4 extra dramas, Freakonomics radio and certain local radio stations in Istanbul (where I live). Everything sounds better on radio. Same song sounds better on radio than on YouTube. One of the reasons for this may be that you don't get distracted watching the clip while listening on radio. So you can focus on the sounds. There is also the surprise effect. You're listening to a radio station. You're in bed, it's night, and you're lost in your thoughts and dreams. Feeling a little melancholic maybe. Suddenly, your favorite song starts playing. It's just wonderful. You can't pause it, you can't rewind and listen to that best part again. It's a one time thing. You have no control over it. So you just close your eyes and enjoy. Same thing happens with computer games. When you are not able to pause or save your progress anytime you want, it is more exciting. There is possibility of losing, so you're more care...

I’ve been trying to apply to a university in Japan. Normally, most universities expect you to write a Statement of Purpose and a Research Plan approximately 1000 words each. But not this one, they want at most 500 words each, otherwise when you upload them to the system, it automatically cuts the part after 500 words. So I was trying to trim my SoP… I cut out one paragraph consisting of 100 words, then cut out a few sentences, then several words here and there… And finally I got stuck at 501 words. 501!! I don’t know how many times I read my SoP, I just couldn’t find a single word to remove. I was going crazy and a friend recommended me “just make a typo, combine two words” but I didn’t want to do that. I have a little obsession when it comes to writing. I want to make my sentences aesthetically pleasing. And that’s why I have a hard time on writing exams. I sit there and think about how to form more charming sentences instead of focusing on the task. Anyway, I finally found an “a lot”...

I enjoy living. I'm happy with my life and I'm an easy-going person (I can actually hear my friends saying WHAT!?!) Well, it's true. The only time I might be a little over sensitive is when I'm trying to sleep. I just ask for a quite and a dark room. Is it too much to ask? Making me happy is extremely easy. It's like I have the "Easily Impressed" trait in the Sims 3 (Yeah, I used to play Sims. It was a good game too, except for the part where my dead wife came back as a ghost and scared the hell out of my new wife). For example, having a slice of chocolate cake with chestnuts in it while drinking a nice cup of tea is enough to make me one of the happiest man in the world. Another example is, catching a movie with a good friend. And let me say it again. These are not just some things that I enjoy doing. These are things that make me very very very happy. I feel sad most of the time though. Not depressed or suicidal, just sad. I don't know why. Like ...

Hi, I'm Furkan and this is my second blogging attempt; but you probably lost your way, misspelled the URL, or you wanted to create a blog named "randomthoughts" (like I did), learned that it was taken, so you tried putting random numbers between "random" and "thoughts" and were surprised  to see most of the numbers from 0 to 9 were taken too, so you felt curious and now checking what all these blogs are about. Well, I can assure you that I'll try to use this blog; unlike the guy who took the "randomthoughts" domain. And no, 3 in the middle doesn't mean anything. I'm writing this blog with the hope of improving my writing skill in English. Therefore, I can't make any promises about the quality of the content. I might form stupid sentences just to use a new word that I learned. But, I can say that this is not a blog about a specific topic. It will most likely be like my personal journal. And the possibility that other people m...